Throwing in the Towel

Uh oh. Today’s sign that apocalypse is upon us. My very first wedding invitation arrived in the mail.

I suppose I will get use to this, especially in the coming years (what’s the average age for getting married now? 28? Oh wait, I’m in DC, so its 32…), but for now its still feels strange to have a close friend tie the knot. I hear that 50% of all Georgetown girls marry Georgetown guys, which I guess wither means they are knocked up, we are good at socializing, the admissions committee deserves a lot more credit, or we are completely unadventurous. I chalk it up to all of the above, and perhaps it is just a Mid Atlantic thing that people get married later than high school but before they completely exhaust the dating scene a la New Yorkers. I had three semi-close friends get married so far from college, with one separation (memo to self-don’t marry someone before they have even settled on a major – they may have committment issues). However, none of my immediate friends have tied the knot, although I suspect some are closer than I would imagine.

This friend happens to have attended another catholic university up north, and I have never met his fiancee. He was probably the closest friend I had in high school and we were neighbors, but once college kicked in, well, there a lot of distractions and those 6 hour Amtrak rides aren’t quite as appealing with so much going on. My friend is probably the most level-headed and grounded person I know, so I am sure his to-be-wife will be a great fit and he has chosen well. Still kinda freaks me out though. He has a steady consulting job, and I can totally see him moving to the suburbs and hunkering down and having the 2.5 kids. His parents were similar I suppose, being local, marrying young, having one girl and one boy, a two level house, and a little white dog. I expect pretty much the same out of him.

I can’t say I can see the same thing happening to me. My parents married in their 30s, my older brother married shortly before turning 30, and my other brother is still unmarried at 32 (although to his credit he was runner up to Andy on The Bachelor). I don’t think people plan to get married late, but they can certainly make it difficult on themselves to do so. Exploring career opportunities, enjoying one’s younger years, developing as a person are all things that sometimes are best done alone and with the most freedom. I am not saying marriage means packing it in and calling it a life, but I have friends in relationships who are so constricted by the demands this entails, whether they admit (or see) it or not. Finding the perfect companion can make this transition effortless, and I have seen it, but it usually requires a certain type of person to make this a reality. I certainly haven’t found that person yet, and I will (cross my fingers) recognize it when it happens, but I suspect that for now I place very little pressure on myself, and know there is a lot of life to experience yet on my own.

Back to the wedding. I think my brother is going to be a best man, and I suppose I can step in as his twin should he be unable to fulfill his role in the wedding ceremony (please, please do not pick me to be the usher or ringbearer). The wedding invitation had a nice picture of a park in Boston on the front ( I have no idea what it is called, I haven’t been in Boston since my older bother’s college tours). We received one invitation for the both of us ( I suppose it saves stationary – those wedding costs are really racking up, huh?). It asked us to save the date May 31, 2008 for the wedding. Wow, a whole 360 days away! I am sorry, that doesn’t fit into my plans. Seriously, that is so far away. But apparently hotel reservations should be in by November, as they fill up quickly. This must be the biggest wedding in the world, or the Westin is a lot more popular in Boston than it is here. Once I make this reservation, that is probably the furthest I have planned ahead in my entire life. I wasn’t even sure of my graduation date in college, much less whether I would make it there (I did, or at least I’m told I did).

Anyhow, this wedding will probably be the most traditional wedding I will ever attend (my brother got married outside by Lake Travis in Texas by a former youth minister I knew from home, my cousin at a ranch in Carmel Valley), but I foresee my next weddings from college friends being much different. They seem more excited about the potential bachelor parties in Vegas than anything else, and for the moment I can’t imagine anything but a repeat of the college scene. Which isn’t a bad thing, I just think they, like me, think college gave us great potential, but there is no reason we can’t carry over some of the fun while we still can (and get away with it).

Here are some who are way ahead of the game, courtesy of Gawker…

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